So...just how do we do it?!

This is a common question that everyone seems to need an answer to...how do we manage everything? Some days, I ask myself this exact question - it can sometimes seem like a mystery. Let's break it down, shall we?

In addition to being a stay-at-home mommy, I am a part-time college student pursuing a second degree in Journalism and Digital Media and a Freelance Journalist for NPR/WFAE and SOCIETY Charlotte Magazine. That sounds crazy, right?! It is.

I am committed to my children and I love them more than life but I am also committed to advancing my career. Apparently, I am striving for "super-mom" status - you know, finding that balance between kids and career that everyone swears doesn't really exist. What can I say, I'm hoping for the best.

My situation is unique because of the role my husband plays. When we were dating and living in an apartment together in Wilmington, he had been laid off from his full-time job and was working several part-time jobs to make ends meet. Finally, a local job fair offered a promising opportunity to work for a large cell phone company that was opening a call center in the area. Verizon Wireless hired Bryan as a full-time Customer Service Rep in 2003.

Fast-forward ten years and here we are; we now live in Charlotte and he is still working for Verizon but now he is a Major Account Rep in their sales channel.

His current position allows him a great deal of flexibility - his ability to be with our children when I am at school or working is the single most important ingredient in our recipe. Sprinkle in some benefits from Verizon and a decent salary and you have a full pie. An extra income would obviously make life a bit easier but since he worked his way up in the company and makes enough to support our family financially, I am able to go to school and work as a freelancer - building my career one published piece at a time.

It's not all rainbows and butterflies though - even with Bryan's salary and what little I bring in on the side, we can't afford professional childcare. I'm not even kidding. I don't know how people do it.

At one point, I actually considered going back to work full-time when money was tight, only to realize that almost my entire salary would pay for childcare only. Since I feel that I am the best caregiver for my children and my returning to the work force would not really contribute to our financial situation after paying for outside childcare, this was not a sensible solution.

So, for now, it is a juggling act between Bryan and I. It is great for Anniston and Brayden because they have ample time with both of us...not so great for my husband and I because it seems we are never together at the same time. When he is with them, I am at work or school and when I am with them, he is at work or running errands.

Regardless, we realize that this time in our lives is precious and we cherish each moment we are able to spend with them. I have a feeling, our time together will come when the babes are otherwise preoccupied with friends, school, extracurricular activities, dating, parties, college, etc. We will be begging for them to spend time with us, I'm sure!

It also needs to be stated that Bryan and I have a solid foundation built on strength and trust. We've been through more than the average couple; so, we know how to work as a team and make things happen. Even when it seems as though we can't possibly take anymore, we find a way to persevere - even in the most trying of circumstances: the babies are melting down, the dogs need to be fed, the bills need to be paid, we need groceries, the house needs to be cleaned, the car needs an oil change and deadlines are looming...

As our life evolves, we will have to adjust accordingly and like always, we will do what we have to. That's the thing about us - we are quite resilient.

What would you do?

The following article relates directly to this post:

NY Times.com: Feb 3
Ethics questions arise as genetic testing of embryos increases 

This article, as well as another related article on CNN.com (March 24),  ran just this year and are obviously hot topics. Remember the saying, "Where there is smoke, there must be fire." Well, where there are hot topics, there must be a debate. This particular subject is no exception: to discard or not to discard, that is the question ~

The process of testing an embryo for a disease before it is actually implanted in the uterus is known as Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD). The only way to actually perform this process is through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Here's the deal, PGD has nothing to do with infertility. It is a procedure that a family and their doctor elect to become a part of because of a disease that they want to protect their unborn from inheriting.

You may be asking yourself how I seem to know so much about this and why I would be dedicating a post on my blog to it? Before I answer, I warned you in a previous post to be careful when asking a mother whether or not her child/children are natural because you might not be prepared for the answer...here's why:

The NY Times article could have been written about me because I share the same story. My twins are here because of IVF with PGD and guess what? They will not inherit the disease that I tested positive for. My husband and I made a decision to protect our future children from this disease because it is dominant and has a 50% pass rate. That means that the fate of my children inheriting this disease was a literal coin toss. We weren't ok with those odds.

My story, as opposed to the family featured in the NY Times article, was a little more dramatic and had an interesting twist of fate. I am going to spare you most of the details pertaining to the process of IVF and PGD and just jump right to the end - I found myself in the hospital after having over 30 eggs removed from my very swollen ovaries. After a few days of deteriorating health, I was admitted for being severely dehydrated and for having ovaries five times their original size.

While I was hospitalized, my IVF doctor explained that they had sent about 17 cells to Detroit for testing. Depending on the results, two healthy embryos would be inserted into my uterus for implantation and the rest would be cryopreserved (frozen). However, due to my level of illness, he suggested that I wait about four months, until I was healthier. I promptly burst into tears - I felt as though we had been through so much up to that point and having to wait seemed like an emotional hell. I wanted to move forward.

It turns out, a greater force was exerting an influence and my doctor returned the next day, looking solemn. He sat on the bed and looked at me with great sadness in his eyes as he explained that the test results had returned and out of 17, all but three tested positive for the gene. I was horrified because at that moment, even though I knew I was a carrier, it wasn't real until I was told that I had actually passed this gene to almost all of the healthy embryos we had available.

As if that wasn't bad enough, out of the three that were "healthy", one was graded as excellent, one was good and the last was iffy. His instructions were to leave the hospital and drive directly to his office for insertion - we couldn't take a risk of cryopreserving them and then they not be viable when we needed them in the future.

But what were we supposed to do with the other embryos that tested positive for the gene? This is the hotly debated issue related to this process.

We chose to donate them to the research organization that supports the disease I have. We felt good knowing that they would serve a purpose that would help so many people in the long run. However, not everyone feels we did the right thing.

Some say that we are interfering in God's work by taking part in IVF and PGD. Others have a great deal of opinions as to what they feel should have been done to the embryos that tested positive for the gene.

In the end, the "excellent" and "good" embryos were inserted (the iffy one never progressed) and 38 weeks later, my twins were born. We can't control for all circumstances or all diseases - who knows what will happen? What we do know is that neither of them will have this disease and that, I can live with.

My opinion as someone who has been through it: I couldn't go into motherhood knowing that I was putting my children at that much risk. I felt it was irresponsible of me not to do anything about it. I also feel as though if everyone could afford it and was able to physically endure IVF and PGD, this disease and others would essentially be cured. We would be ensuring a future without these diseases.

In regards to the PGD process as a debate, if you take birth control or even prenatal vitamins, you are manipulating the process (or "interfering" as some would say). You aren't a bad person because you are trying to prevent an unwanted pregnancy or because you are trying to ensure the health of your unborn child...so why am I a bad person for preventing a life-altering disease that I know I carry and will eventually have to live with?

On another note, what are we supposed to do with the embryos that test positive? Keep them and freeze them? What good would that do? In order to influence a greater good, there will be loss along the way. It is unfortunate but it is what it is.

Our twist of fate really puts things into perspective:

I had over 30 mature eggs removed from my body. Through the process (and in just five days) some of them did not progress, some of them did not become embryos and some of them tested positive for the gene. We were literally left with TWO. We could not have afforded another cycle of IVF and we assumed we would have some left to preserve. We never dreamed that it would all come down to just two - there was not a plan B, it had to work...and it did.

We have a beautiful set of twins, girl and boy, that implanted and grew, progressed through 38 weeks of pregnancy and entered this world via a planned C-section. They did not require NICU care, they are healthy and they will not have the disease that I carry...it's a true miracle.

The question is: what would you do?

Since When Did Three Become the New Two?!

I'm sure you're all familiar with the phrase "terrible two's", right?

Well, A and B are almost three and judging by their latest-and-greatest, two was nothing compared to what three is looking like. Two was a teaser, a small test of our strength and resilience, to prepare us for what is surely imminent: three is going to be all out war!

Are we tough enough?

I really thought my years studying behavior analysis and working as a research technician in a children's cognitive development lab at UNCW would prepare me for motherhood. Not so much.

See, the problem lies in the fact that those children - those adorable little test subjects - were not mine. I simply analyzed them as data and observed their behaviors but that was it. I was not responsible for molding them into...well, what exactly are we striving for here - responsible adults? That doesn't even remotely cover it.

As their parents, we are to encourage them, raise them, love them, correct them, discipline them, hold them accountable, interrogate them, introduce them to the harsh realities that will send them tumbling from their reach of the stars, catch them, foster independence while struggling to let go and accepting them for "who they are" even when we know better - and this is just the beginning of what parenthood entails.

Now, with all of that said, I return to my original thought..."three" is on the horizon and is threatening a storm. My lovely children - vibrant and adventurous, lovers of life and all they are experiencing, are suddenly transforming into something else all together!

My daughter seems to be a little further along in this process and over the past couple of weeks, has said some really interesting things...below are some of her favorite phrases (she sometimes uses "my" instead of "me" to refer to herself):

"Leave my alone!"
"Don't touch me!"
"Don't look at me!"
"Don't talk to me that way!"

When my husband told her to stop kicking our dining table she turned around, stuck her lip out and said, "You really are a bad guy!" - come again?

It turns out, she was repeating a line from the movie "Wreck It Ralph". The precocious Venelope Von Schweetz says this to Ralph right after he destroys her most prized possession. So, Anniston using this line against her father as though he broke her heart into a million pieces was a bit much.

The drama is extreme, meltdowns are excessive, and the whining is incessant.

My son relies less on theatrics but is just as dramatic. He is mischievous and if he thinks he can get away with something, he will most definitely try it. He is also intuitive and can sense weakness like a lion searching for its prey - he has his grandparents pegged and when mommy and daddy aren't around, he does all of the things he knows he isn't supposed to. All rules are nonexistent and the little white lies are rampant.

He knows if Anniston takes something from him, he is to ask her for it and remember to say "please". However, when his grandparents were here (and he thought mommy and daddy weren't), he proceeded to scream and cry as though he were a wild animal being chased through the woods, fearing for his young life and struggling to survive. I promptly appeared at the door and saw his grandmother attempting to calm him down by hugging and petting him but as soon as his big blue eyes settled upon me, he sucked in the screams and tears as quickly as they were unleashed. Not another sound was made.

He wanted his toy and his sister was playing with it - that was a completely appropriate reason to have an over-the-top meltdown, right?!

It is difficult to reason with a toddler. It is impossible to reason with two toddlers.

I know this is typical, expected even, and part of the developmental process. I just have to breathe, right? Have patience. Count to 10, etc.

It's a good thing they're cute...just sayin'!

Review of Kid-Friendly Hot Spots

So, as a stay-at-home mommy of twins, finding fun things to do is a must!

I have made it a mission to discover low-cost, unique and fun activities for myself and my twinkies around our beautiful city. It is imperative for us to have a plan B on any given rainy day, a sweltering summer day or when boredom invades my lovelies and they begin to drop not-so-subtle hints that they are ready for some additional stimulation!

The list below reflects my opinions only and are places we have visited personally.

1. One of my absolute favorite spots is Dan Nicholas Park. It isn't technically in Charlotte but it's close (Salisbury) and is well-worth the drive. We were initially introduced to Dan Nicholas last year when we hosted their 2nd birthday party at this location. We paid a small fee to rent a covered shelter near a trail that leads to all the main attractions. There is no fee to enter the park but if you choose to participate in mini golf, paddle boats, the train, or carousel, you have to purchase tickets. Other activities that are FREE include their spray park and several playgrounds on site. This park literally has it all and children love it - there is something for everyone!
Pro: So many activities that are unique and fun...even in the hottest weather.
Con: it is not in Charlotte but is a short drive away, in Salisbury.

2. Another park that is fabulous for little ones is Stallings Park in the Charlotte area. It was even voted as one of Charlotte's Best in Charlotte Magazine - here is their description:

"Two years and $2.3 million later, Stallings Park is the best park and playground in the Charlotte area. Period. With a brand-new splash pad, soon-to-be-open walking trails, three different playground areas (one enclosed for the tiny tots), picnic areas, tennis courts, and an 18-hole disc golf course designed by a three-time world champion disc golfer, families love it here." 

Technically, the park is in Matthews but, again, worth the drive - my babies absolutely adored the splash pad and the many different playground options! It's a great Spring and Summer option!
Pro: great summer location since the spray park is wet & wild!
Con: it is in Matthews.

3. Another favorite is the Huntersville Discovery Center. This venue is all about kids and they make exploring a blast! They specialize in real-life, hands-on, experiential opportunities - a fire truck, ambulance, grocery store, ATM/Bank, plane, race car, water tables, etc. The twinkies had so much fun interacting with each area and other children that were visiting as well. This is a fun option for rainy and/or cold days when the kids are confined indoors.
Pro: great place full of kid-friendly activities.
Con: sometimes it is really busy and kind of chaotic - take hand sanitizer and be prepared to have to dodge other kids as yours run to another area before you can blink! Also, it costs - check their website for current fees.

4. Some days, my babes just need space to run, jump and climb. One of the best options for them to release all of their combustible energy is at Monkey Joe's! They are a relatively cheap option and provide plenty of fun-filled opportunities for little ones. They specialize in inflatable bounce houses, slides, and obstacle courses. Monkey Joe's even offers the tiniest tots an area for play. Fortunately, when my twins are thoroughly worn out and super-hungry from so much rough-and-tumble play, they offer lunch and beverage options.
Pro: not too expensive and is an indoor space. Also offer games and prizes (for a fee).
Con: the lunch options aren't the healthiest: pizza, pretzels and nachos.

5. Believe it or not, one of my favorite places to take the twins is Concord Mills Mall! Not for shopping, of course, but because there is a carousel, train, play area, movie theater and a food court. Even my 2.5-year-old toddlers can sit through a movie with some popcorn and M&M's...they've watched Frozen twice now and would most definitely welcome a third opportunity!
Pro: an indoor space, several fun kid-friendly options.
Con: train and movies can be expensive. Bring cash!

6. The SeaLife Aquarium just recently opened and is also a part of Concord Mills Mall. My twinkies love all things sea and animals so a trip to this attraction was a no-brainer. We had previously visited Ripley's Aquarium in Myrtle Beach and our little ones relished their experience so I was excited to have this option in our area. It introduces children to the ocean's most popular creatures - fish, jellyfish, an octopus, a sea turtle, plenty of stingrays and a shark.
Pro: definitely geared toward children and includes a booklet that they can stamp at each stop for a prize at the end.
Con: this was a lot more expensive than I was expecting and the duration was quite short. The only exit is through the gift shop which I did not appreciate since the twins promptly picked up a variety of items they just had to have...which made our visit that much more expensive. (Score 1 for SeaLife).

7. My last spot is the most expensive since it is not in our area so travel has to be accounted for and there is also an entry fee but; nevertheless, it is one of our most favorite places to visit: The Riverbanks Zoo & Gardens in Columbia! We make sure to trek through this wilderness in the early Spring since a day at the zoo can get hot real quick. Anniston & Brayden LOVE the animals - the zebras, giraffes, apes, birds, elephants, meerkats, penguins, etc. What's not to love about the zoo?
Pro: there is a restaurant, ice cream, beverage machines, and even seasonal movies at the zoo!
Con: it's in Columbia - enough said.

I realize that there are several other possibilities in and around Charlotte that I haven't touched on (Lazy 5 Ranch, etc.) - however, there will be a follow-up post when we have visited them and had a chance to familiarize ourselves with these opportunities.

As the seasons transition and we begin to experience longer days and warmer weather, we will be adding places to our annual Spring/Summer bucket list. Please feel free to share your own opinions or to provide suggestions as to other fabulous kid-friendly hot spots in our area!

Beautiful Chaos - Part 2

Our expectations tend to get in the way of our reality and can set us up for failure. No more books, internet, shows or advice. We were suffering from information overload and comparisons to others was toxic.

I decided that my experience was my own - we were going to forge our own path.

(Anniston at Freedom Park)

I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss my anxiety issues and he diagnosed me with Postpartum Anxiety - different from Postpartum Depression in that I was not depressed and did not feel hopeless. I felt extremely overwhelmed!

A weight lifted and for the first time, I was finally gaining some control.

I also realized that my worries over not bonding with my children was not productive. My lack of confidence in myself as a mother was hindering my ability to appreciate this moment in my life. Here were these two little humans - individuals with unique personalities. I decided to let my relationship with them develop naturally.

Also, since breastfeeding and pumping had resulted in a multitude of disappointments, I embraced the fact that I had succeeded in providing my children with six weeks worth of breastmilk and, given their continued health and progression, a switch to formula-only would not be a detrimental decision. Instead of wincing in pain and being miserable during their feedings, I finally had the opportunity to hold them and watch their facial expressions, study their little toes and play with their fingers - these were beautiful moments.

Once I finally let go of all the burdens and worry, I opened myself up to new experiences and it paid off. Not only did I learn who my children were but my relationship with each one of them grew deeper and deeper. I have moments from time-to-time where I am pretty sure my heart will explode from loving them so much. I never should have doubted myself...they love me for who I am (good, bad, and the ugly) and that's all that matters. To them, I am some kind of superhero - I'll take it!

They are now 2.5-years-old and I am completely confident in their happiness. Bryan and I document everything we can so we can show them later how special they are to us. I have hundreds of thousands of pictures and videos - they even have their own YouTube channel (how cool is this):

https://www.youtube.com/user/Branniston

I have a hard time remembering what life was like before Anniston & Brayden - they are literally our everything.

Sharing this experience helps me to appreciate the beauty that can always be found in what we believe to be chaos. I not only learned a great deal about my children and about myself but I learned how to become a mother...

In some ways, I suspect that I will always question myself and doubt my abilities as their mother. Maybe it's this very process that makes me a good mother - I care enough to strive for better.

Beautiful Chaos - Part 1

I spent so many months just trying to keep them in so they would be healthy that I never really let myself think about life after pregnancy. I was too afraid to let myself "feel" anything because I knew if something horrible happened during my pregnancy and I lost one or both of them, the devastation would be immense. The risk of any number of complications was higher because we were dealing with multiples but to complicate things even further, I have Lupus (an autoimmune disease) so, I had to be monitored by my general OB, a high-risk OB, and a Rheumatologist.

During one particular visit with my Rheumatologist, early in my pregnancy, she went through all the  scenarios that might occur and said to me, "If your kidneys begin to fail or you start having seizures, I will have to ask you to terminate your pregnancy in order to save you. Your safety is my priority." This statement stuck with me throughout my entire pregnancy and I did everything I could to try and keep myself healthy so that these terrifying possibilities did not become realities. In the process, though, I did not allow myself to emotionally connect with my babies - I was sincerely scared of loving them too much.

So, the day arrived and it was time to have a C-Section - I remember being nervous about the surgery. During the procedure, it was as if my senses were heightened because I couldn't move and my visual field was limited to my left and right side because of a sheet that blocked my body from my chest down. We had two teams of nurses that were poised and ready for each baby to be handed to them.

Baby A didn't come out crying - she was actually silent when she first arrived. These few seconds seemed like an eternity and I was terrified that something was wrong. Finally, her lungs filled with air and she began to scream accordingly. My son cried almost immediately and both were whisked away by the nurses so that they could check them, etc.

Because of my limited mobility and the fact that I was still technically in surgery, I had not had an opportunity to really see my babies yet. I yearned to hold them. Everything felt like a dream - the room seemed to slow down and I felt a heaviness in my chest. As the doctor was finishing, the nurses brought each baby over for me to look at...this moment was a literal blur. The one thing I remember most is that Brayden was so peaceful and quiet, his eyes were open and he was looking around the room. I thought to myself that this was more than likely a preview into his personality and I was grateful to have met him.

The room began to close around me.

They finally wheeled me into a recovery bay and I learned that during surgery my blood pressure dropped to an extremely low level - I had to remain flat on my back because if I tried to sit up, I most certainly would have lost consciousness. At that moment, I really didn't care, I just wanted to see and hold my babies.

Anniston Faith

                                  James Brayden















I was in the hospital for a week because of the surgery and because I had twins. Both babies were healthy and neither required NICU care. I felt as though my initial job of keeping them in was finally over but I wasn't sure how to feel about them now. In the quiet moments at the hospital, I would stare at them and watch them breathe. I kept waiting for this overwhelming emotional connection but instead, I felt scared and uncertain. Where was the bond I had read so much about and what was wrong with me? Why didn't I feel the way I was supposed to?

The first six weeks at home were chaotic, to say the least. We were attempting to establish some sort of routine, sleep was nonexistent, I was trying to breastfeed/pump and supplement with formula, and family and friends were coming regularly for visits. I am sure that this scenario doesn't sound much different than any other family bringing home a newborn except we had TWO newborns, our feeding schedule was insane - we would get through a feeding with both and it was time to start again. In addition, my milk supply wasn't enough (even with round-the-clock pumping and alternating breastfeeding with each child), Brayden was having problems latching and Anniston was a Hoover vacuum - it was a horribly painful experience!

We were zombies and to make matters much worse, I developed Mastitis - an infection in my breast. I felt like I had the flu with body aches and a high fever. Since it was my second time developing the infection, my doctor explained that I had a choice to make...I could continue to try and breastfeed and pump or I could switch to a formula-only method. If I was to develop Mastitis again, he explained that he would have to surgically open the duct in my breast that was infected. There was no way I was ready for yet another surgery - especially since I was still recovering from my C-Section.

I felt like I was failing. I was disconnected, exhausted and overwhelmed...

Birthday Theme?

So, does anyone else stress months in advance over what their children's (or child's) birthday theme will be?

No? Just me...?

Ok, well, let me explain. I used to be a professional event planner. Let me put this into perspective for you: I planned corporate events and they usually included hundreds (even thousands) of people. My largest was an Employee Appreciation Event for Wells Fargo that included over 3,000 attendees. The entire event was themed and every single detail was meticulously planned by me, myself, and I.

Even though I enjoyed my job, it was extremely stressful - every event had it's issues...it wasn't about what would happen but when something would happen. Each event was unique and I was in charge of catering, equipment, venue space, contracts, logistics, entertainment, staff, decor, etc. To say I was a multi-tasker would be an understatement.

Now that you realize what a freak I am about events, it should come as no surprise that I tend to go completely overboard when planning my children's birthdays. Heck, any opportunity to celebrate is welcomed and planned for well in advance (holidays included - my children always have themed clothing and pictures are a must on the day of)...

Ok, back to my point. My children's third birthday is coming up...in June (right around the corner, I know) and I am desperately trying to plan ahead. Preparing for girl/boy twin birthday parties is much more difficult than I originally thought. Since it goes completely against my nature to just get some cakes and a few balloons and call it a day, I have, instead, made a long list of theme ideas that I thought would suit my little ones (everyone keeps reminding me that they are too young to remember these details but they WILL look back and see pictures of their special day and hopefully realize just how special they are to us)!
For their first birthday, I chose a Mod Monkey theme - it was cute for a first birthday and had a girl's and boy's coordinating party pack that allowed me to go wild with decor! I made pineapple cupcakes with pineapple cream cheese frosting and then used food coloring to dye the frosting according to each baby's theme colors: aqua and yellow for Brayden and pink and lime for Anniston. Notice the two LARGE cupcakes that were made special for the birthday babies - these were their "smash cakes"!!

In the background of the photo are the gum balls and banana runts I included for guests to take with them as they left - we made bags thanking everyone for coming.



For the table centerpieces, I just used some flower vases, rock candy, ribbon, and card stock. Easy-breezy!
























Is it even possible to celebrate a birthday without balloons?
How about a gazillion of them?















I also had these adorable banners made for each baby (I couldn't help myself):

The birthday girl!!

The birthday boy!!














Obviously, I had to have personalized sodas made (and stay within the theme, of course):
Anniston's flavor was FuFu Berry
Brayden's flavor was Pineapple Cream Soda
*Note: there was a personalized message on the back that included current nicknames and adjectives to describe them...family members took these home to keep.

Their little shin-dig was hosted at the pool in our neighborhood and we invited lots of friends and family. We thought we had planned for everything...however, it never occurred to us that our fabulous party might take place on the hottest day of the entire year. It was literally over 100 degrees! Despite the overwhelming sun and heat, most everyone showed up anyway, helped us set-up and breakdown, and when all of the food had been sufficiently devoured, we spent the afternoon in the pool.

One of my best memories of the day was at the end of the party, everyone gathered in our home (in the air conditioning) and watched as we spent over an hour opening tons of gifts with the babies...so much fun - it was like Christmas morning!

Their second birthday, Choo Choo's & TuTu's, was at a park that included a carousel, train ride, wild animal park, water park, mini golf, and paddle boats. We set up under a covered picnic area and walked down to all the attractions - they had a blast!

This theme idea came to me on a pre-made invitation. When I saw the name, I immediately knew it would be perfect for A&B since it truly reflected their interests and personalities at the time! Anniston loves all things pink and twirly and Brayden loves trains -- Choo Choo's and TuTu's was born.

Don't get me wrong. I am sure they would be just as happy having a little cake and opening a few gifts but I plan their parties this way for several reasons:

• They are children (young children) and they should have the time of their lives. 
• Why not celebrate big? 
• Life is full of reality-checks and disappointments, we should take every opportunity to enjoy what we can. 
• They are special and deserve to feel that way. 
• ...and I am a crazy, over-the-top mother and former event planner! 

As my family reads this, I am absolutely sure they are rolling their eyes and sighing. Especially since round 3 is coming up and I have already started planning...

Below are the twinkies at their 2nd birthday, enjoying the Spray Park. 

Anniston in her pink tutu bathing suit (score one for creativity and good sense)!

Brayden - thoroughly enjoying himself at the Spray Park!

38 Weeks

Let me paint this picture for you. When I imagined what pregnancy would look like, I envisioned the woman in the movies cradling her growing belly, whispering lovingly to her unborn, daydreaming of her future child, buying baby clothes and furniture - this woman is glowing and radiant...

What I got was a serious reality check!

In my first trimester, these two little leaches were sucking the life out of me - literally! All of my nutrients and blood flow were re-routed to my angels and this mommy was a zombie for months. I wasn't tired - oh, no. My kind of exhaustion required rest breaks and a nap after a shower. The only bullet I dodged was morning sickness. Don't get me wrong, I had my fair share of nausea but somehow the angels were smiling down upon me and allowed me this one pass...especially since they knew what was coming.

My doctor, who is naturally a very laid back and funny guy, decided to break the news to me during one of my exams in a very matter-of-fact and professional kind of way, "Your pelvis is too small, there is no way two babies are coming out this way. A scheduled C-Section is a must. I will put you on the calendar for 38 weeks."

Oh, 38 weeks, huh? You must be joking, right?!

I mean, everyone knows that very few women actually carry twins to term and this "funny guy" actually assumed I was going to carry an additional two weeks past full-term for twins...I pretty much thought he was insane. Especially when he added that he would be on vacation the week prior to my children entering this world.

Wow. Really? This guy really is a comedian.

During my second trimester, in addition to the usual pleasantries pregnancy has to offer, I began to notice something unusual. I was at dinner with my husband and a friend when I began to feel strange. At first, I tried to ignore the feeling but within a few minutes, my heart was racing, my palms were sweating, and I had the urge to strip off my sweater and lay down to cool off so I excused myself and walked to the restroom. As I entered, I began to feel dizzy and lightheaded. I knew this meant that losing consciousness was imminent and I desperately tried to remember what I was supposed to do to - I first tried to put my head between my legs but, hello? I am very pregnant with twins so guess what prohibited this idea from actually playing out? Naturally, my next brilliant idea was to lay down in the floor of the bathroom and elevate my legs...yes, I'm serious.

I never actually lost consciousness but the symptoms were so uncomfortable and happened so quickly that it alarmed me. I discussed it with my husband and we decided to talk to our doctor about it. Before I could even see him, though, it happened again but this time I was driving my car and was stuck in traffic with nowhere to pull off. I am almost positive a higher power was with me as I panicked trying to stay conscious in a small vehicle and behind the wheel. Somehow, miraculously, I made it into a Target parking lot and had enough time to lay down in my car until I felt I could drive myself back home.

The doctor thought I was having blood sugar issues but all the tests came back fine - this little "issue" continued to plague me throughout the rest of my pregnancy and, in addition, my left leg began to go completely numb from my hip to my knee. Again, no explanation.

I was then hospitalized with what they thought might be a kidney infection because of ridiculous pains in my side but this was never completely confirmed because...well, I'm pregnant and when you are pregnant there are only so many tests and medicines you can take.

At 32 weeks, Bryan and I were getting ready to go to my high-risk OB for an ultrasound when I began to feel pressure in my lower abdomen. At first, I ignored it because I was pretty familiar with Braxton-Hicks contractions at this point. But after an hour or so, I realized the pressure was becoming more uncomfortable and seemed to be coming in intervals. I mentioned something to Bryan about it as we got in the car and decided to begin timing them. The doctor assured me I was fine and told me to go home and rest. By 2 p.m., the contractions were 6 minutes apart and not showing any signs of slowing down. Bryan came home from work and rushed me to the hospital.

Once I had been admitted, they were registering as actual contractions and were 2 minutes apart. A flurry of action then took place and included medications and injections to stop my labor. I was hospitalized for the entire duration of Memorial Day weekend and my stay included a battle between my body and the doctors. In the end, the doctors won and my babies decided they were going to hang out for a little while longer...phew!

Each additional week that passed by seemed surreal. I felt like I was winning some kind of strange contest against nature. By 36 weeks, I was considered full-term for a twin pregnancy. Winning. By 37 weeks, I was terrified fate would intervene and my children would most certainly decide to make an appearance because my doctor had decided to go to flippin' Canada in June...

Finally, the day arrived and I had officially made it to 38 weeks. The scheduled C-Section happened just as planned and my babies were healthy enough to stay with us instead of needing NICU time.

We. Are. So. Blessed.

I am an optimistic person but even I recognize that my track record in life is really a comedy of errors. I mean, really, my motto in life should be "shit happens" - but for once, things went the way they were supposed to. All jokes aside and even with all the craziness during my pregnancy, in the end, we made it all the way. I couldn't ask for anything more.

I am reminded of this each time I hear of a baby or multiples that are born too early...

Oh, and I will admit it since I was initially convinced he was crazy - Dr. Bohmer was right.

Are they? Have they? Do they?

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Are they twins? Are they identical? Do they have a twin-language? Do they sense when the other one is hurt or scared? Do they get along? Do twins run in your family? Are they natural? How do you juggle it all? How do you stay sane? Do they sleep together? Do they share a room? 

These are just some of the questions we get asked while we are out-and-about. It is interesting to realize how many people are genuinely intrigued by the idea of twins. I get it. Two humans grew in my uterus (a space meant for only one child and just a few other things...like, my internal organs) and yes, they are the same age and are progressing through developmental milestones at the same time. 

Wait. What? Two screaming newborns, two curious toddlers, two hormonal teenagers? Let that sink in...yep, yep, and yep. 

I understand, yet, when asked some of these questions over and over again, it is difficult not to develop a healthy dose of sarcasm...

The one that really makes me question our level of intelligence as a human race is when someone says, "Awe, they're twins! Are they identical?" 

Really. Let's think about this one for a moment, shall we? 

Yes, I realize they are the same height, the same age, and the same weight but they are a GIRL and a BOY - physically, it is IMPOSSIBLE for them to be identical! [Insert your own joke here] Not to mention, they don't look the same and their hair color is different. 

When I was pregnant, people would ask what I was having. My husband once told me that he wanted to say something random to see their reaction - for example:

Stranger: "What are you having?" 

Bryan: "Giraffes." 

[Blank stare]

Some of the other questions are a little more forgivable: No, they never had their own language but they did share moments where they communicated in a way that only they understood. We have not yet encountered a situation where one sensed the other was in distress; however, they are only 2.5 - this may happen eventually. Yes, they get along (for the most part) but honestly, they act like typical siblings do. I don't really think they get along any better or worse than singleton siblings do. 

When our twins were newborns, we let them share a crib. We decided that as long as both were sleeping and not bothering the other, they would be fine sharing a space. Eventually, we separated them into their own cribs but kept them next to each other and in the same room. This has lasted until just last week - they will be 3 in June so we decided it was time to let them have their own room since they are interested in their own colors and themes. Brayden chose a train (choo-choo) theme and Anniston just wanted pink - anything pink. It has been three nights and both have slept...well, like babies! 

The question about whether or not twins run in my family is very personal: it is really asking whether or not they were conceived naturally or with medical intervention and that is awkward for reasons I don't really have to explain. The answer is complicated. The explanation will eventually appear in another post...My point: be careful what you ask, you might not be prepared for the answer.

How we juggle it all and stay sane is an art that I will explain later - for now, just know that it is a matter of trial-and-error, following our instincts, listening to our children, and learning from our experiences. 

The next time you see a mommy and daddy with twins (or multiples) know these facts: yes, they are tired, no, they aren't interested in hearing that you think they probably want a date night, they just want to sleep (uninterrupted and for at least 8 hours), yes, twins are very expensive and no, you aren't allowed to judge if you look over and they have given one or both twins their iPhones to play with - you don't want to see what would happen if the phones weren't available. Take my word for it. 

Twins defy all logic - they share a womb, share a birthday, share a bond unlike any other and are amazing. I understand the curiosity about our life with them and I am happy to share details and insight. I hope to also provide answers for those that are parents-to-be or new parents of twins - this journey is one that should be shared. 

 Anniston & Brayden

Where to begin?

Beginning a blog about a topic so rich with detail and emotions is much more difficult to start than I originally thought. I mean, how does one begin?

Well, I guess the way all good stories begin...with an introduction.  

I would like to introduce you to the “twinkies” — 

Meet Baby A / Anniston Faith - a vibrant, playful, lover of everything pink and girly, sensitive, loving, hilarious little girl. She greets each and everyday as a new adventure and avoids sleep as much as humanly possible for fear she may actually miss something: 

Meet Baby B / James Brayden (we call him by his middle name) - a mischievous, curious and silly little boy. He loves to hide random objects in random spaces, has the best “belly laugh” in the entire world and loves to cuddle:

My babies came into this world on June 27, 2011 - I carried them past what is considered full-term for twins and they were born one minute apart, by c-section, at 38 weeks. They were both healthy and because they weighed 6lbs and 4lbs 12oz, respectively, they did not require any time in the NICU. 

Bryan and I participated in what is known as Kangaroo Care - holding them to our bare skin to keep their body temperature up and also as a means of bonding with them: 

We also believed in the unbreakable bond that already existed between them due to their progression in the womb so we decided to let them share time in one isolette when we could - research actually suggests that when one twin is in distress, the other's presence can have a calming effect: 

Their relationship has flourished: 

Newborn

4 Months

7 Months

1 Year

2 Years

They are now a little over 2.5

Meet Baby A and Baby B, Anniston & Brayden, Chick and Bray. 

Twins and individuals. 

We celebrate both.