Since When Did Three Become the New Two?!

I'm sure you're all familiar with the phrase "terrible two's", right?

Well, A and B are almost three and judging by their latest-and-greatest, two was nothing compared to what three is looking like. Two was a teaser, a small test of our strength and resilience, to prepare us for what is surely imminent: three is going to be all out war!

Are we tough enough?

I really thought my years studying behavior analysis and working as a research technician in a children's cognitive development lab at UNCW would prepare me for motherhood. Not so much.

See, the problem lies in the fact that those children - those adorable little test subjects - were not mine. I simply analyzed them as data and observed their behaviors but that was it. I was not responsible for molding them into...well, what exactly are we striving for here - responsible adults? That doesn't even remotely cover it.

As their parents, we are to encourage them, raise them, love them, correct them, discipline them, hold them accountable, interrogate them, introduce them to the harsh realities that will send them tumbling from their reach of the stars, catch them, foster independence while struggling to let go and accepting them for "who they are" even when we know better - and this is just the beginning of what parenthood entails.

Now, with all of that said, I return to my original thought..."three" is on the horizon and is threatening a storm. My lovely children - vibrant and adventurous, lovers of life and all they are experiencing, are suddenly transforming into something else all together!

My daughter seems to be a little further along in this process and over the past couple of weeks, has said some really interesting things...below are some of her favorite phrases (she sometimes uses "my" instead of "me" to refer to herself):

"Leave my alone!"
"Don't touch me!"
"Don't look at me!"
"Don't talk to me that way!"

When my husband told her to stop kicking our dining table she turned around, stuck her lip out and said, "You really are a bad guy!" - come again?

It turns out, she was repeating a line from the movie "Wreck It Ralph". The precocious Venelope Von Schweetz says this to Ralph right after he destroys her most prized possession. So, Anniston using this line against her father as though he broke her heart into a million pieces was a bit much.

The drama is extreme, meltdowns are excessive, and the whining is incessant.

My son relies less on theatrics but is just as dramatic. He is mischievous and if he thinks he can get away with something, he will most definitely try it. He is also intuitive and can sense weakness like a lion searching for its prey - he has his grandparents pegged and when mommy and daddy aren't around, he does all of the things he knows he isn't supposed to. All rules are nonexistent and the little white lies are rampant.

He knows if Anniston takes something from him, he is to ask her for it and remember to say "please". However, when his grandparents were here (and he thought mommy and daddy weren't), he proceeded to scream and cry as though he were a wild animal being chased through the woods, fearing for his young life and struggling to survive. I promptly appeared at the door and saw his grandmother attempting to calm him down by hugging and petting him but as soon as his big blue eyes settled upon me, he sucked in the screams and tears as quickly as they were unleashed. Not another sound was made.

He wanted his toy and his sister was playing with it - that was a completely appropriate reason to have an over-the-top meltdown, right?!

It is difficult to reason with a toddler. It is impossible to reason with two toddlers.

I know this is typical, expected even, and part of the developmental process. I just have to breathe, right? Have patience. Count to 10, etc.

It's a good thing they're cute...just sayin'!