Are they? Have they? Do they?

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Are they twins? Are they identical? Do they have a twin-language? Do they sense when the other one is hurt or scared? Do they get along? Do twins run in your family? Are they natural? How do you juggle it all? How do you stay sane? Do they sleep together? Do they share a room? 

These are just some of the questions we get asked while we are out-and-about. It is interesting to realize how many people are genuinely intrigued by the idea of twins. I get it. Two humans grew in my uterus (a space meant for only one child and just a few other things...like, my internal organs) and yes, they are the same age and are progressing through developmental milestones at the same time. 

Wait. What? Two screaming newborns, two curious toddlers, two hormonal teenagers? Let that sink in...yep, yep, and yep. 

I understand, yet, when asked some of these questions over and over again, it is difficult not to develop a healthy dose of sarcasm...

The one that really makes me question our level of intelligence as a human race is when someone says, "Awe, they're twins! Are they identical?" 

Really. Let's think about this one for a moment, shall we? 

Yes, I realize they are the same height, the same age, and the same weight but they are a GIRL and a BOY - physically, it is IMPOSSIBLE for them to be identical! [Insert your own joke here] Not to mention, they don't look the same and their hair color is different. 

When I was pregnant, people would ask what I was having. My husband once told me that he wanted to say something random to see their reaction - for example:

Stranger: "What are you having?" 

Bryan: "Giraffes." 

[Blank stare]

Some of the other questions are a little more forgivable: No, they never had their own language but they did share moments where they communicated in a way that only they understood. We have not yet encountered a situation where one sensed the other was in distress; however, they are only 2.5 - this may happen eventually. Yes, they get along (for the most part) but honestly, they act like typical siblings do. I don't really think they get along any better or worse than singleton siblings do. 

When our twins were newborns, we let them share a crib. We decided that as long as both were sleeping and not bothering the other, they would be fine sharing a space. Eventually, we separated them into their own cribs but kept them next to each other and in the same room. This has lasted until just last week - they will be 3 in June so we decided it was time to let them have their own room since they are interested in their own colors and themes. Brayden chose a train (choo-choo) theme and Anniston just wanted pink - anything pink. It has been three nights and both have slept...well, like babies! 

The question about whether or not twins run in my family is very personal: it is really asking whether or not they were conceived naturally or with medical intervention and that is awkward for reasons I don't really have to explain. The answer is complicated. The explanation will eventually appear in another post...My point: be careful what you ask, you might not be prepared for the answer.

How we juggle it all and stay sane is an art that I will explain later - for now, just know that it is a matter of trial-and-error, following our instincts, listening to our children, and learning from our experiences. 

The next time you see a mommy and daddy with twins (or multiples) know these facts: yes, they are tired, no, they aren't interested in hearing that you think they probably want a date night, they just want to sleep (uninterrupted and for at least 8 hours), yes, twins are very expensive and no, you aren't allowed to judge if you look over and they have given one or both twins their iPhones to play with - you don't want to see what would happen if the phones weren't available. Take my word for it. 

Twins defy all logic - they share a womb, share a birthday, share a bond unlike any other and are amazing. I understand the curiosity about our life with them and I am happy to share details and insight. I hope to also provide answers for those that are parents-to-be or new parents of twins - this journey is one that should be shared. 

 Anniston & Brayden